I know, I’ve been pretty hot and cold lately, with months between posts. Truly, I’m not sure about the future of the blog.
Blogging has gotten harder. And no, not because I’m busy (or at least not ONLY because I’m busy), but for a couple of bigger reasons…
1. It’s lost its anonymity. Nova Scotia is small. And the dietetics world within Nova Scotia is even smaller. I never considered this when I was blogging from my teeny tiny apartment in the biggest city in Canada-Toronto. I started the blog there and felt comfortable sharing what I did on it, being open about my opinions and pretty easily hiding the identity of those involved in my stories. That isn’t so easy anymore. For example, I wouldn’t be able to post a blog like this without everybody knowing who was involved in the conflict. That isn’t fair.
I don’t want to start filtering what I share on here – that defeats the purpose. That isn’t REAL. How do I stay true to the essence of the blog while maintaining the privacy of others?
2. I don’t know what I can share. This year I was involved in the dietetic internship application process in a whole new way. I was truly on the other side and once you’re on the other side, is it okay to talk about it? Working part time in the School of Nutrition and Dietetics at Acadia University, I worked with the faculty to write composite (group) references for several students. Essentially I sat at a table where all the profs spoke about each student personally. I learned what profs (and people in general) notice about others, what they value, and how several factors you’ve probably never thought about influence your career. I’ve learned great things from that experience and other hiring processes I’ve been a part of.
I think students could benefit from hearing some of my learnings, but is that… cheating? Inappropriate? Deceiving? Of course there are obvious lines that I would respect so I wouldn’t be outright in the wrong – or would I, a little bit?
3. Am I crossing too far over the line between personal and professional? I mean, I’ve never seen a picture of my prof crying on the kitchen floor. I’ve never read about my prof’s past dreadful relationships. I’ve never heard their open, honest, unfiltered opinions on some of the toughest obstacles they’ve faced. But my students have, for me. Does that make me more genuine, more relatable, more human? Or does that make me more inappropriate? immature? “unprofessional”? I like to think the former, but I am questioning now how others perceive that, and what is truly the best way to behave. Part of the purpose of the blog initially was to challenge the power divide and to encourage more genuine human interaction, so again, I’m grappling with how to stay true to the essence of the blog.
4. I don’t want the blog to age with me. As I navigate through my career I will have very different experiences and concerns than I did as a student or intern. I don’t want the blog to follow my career exclusively and get so far removed from the posts that most people look for when they come to the blog – the internship application stuff. How can I continue to be a support for that process when as time passes I get further and further removed from it? Do I want to invest the time required to keep up to date and to keep connections with people who are in that process? (I mean YES, but is that realistic?)
SO, as you can see there’s been a lot more going on here than simple procrastination. I’m sorry to have this blog read so heavy, but thought I should share what’s been on my mind. But don’t worry, this isn’t a “It’s not you, it’s me” break-up conversation – I haven’t decided to end the blog. But I haven’t quite decided not to either…
Would love to hear your thoughts